Bridging two home cultures

Many travellers and ex-pats will be familiar with the feeling of going to a new place and sometimes bumping into a cultural difference that demands some time to acclimate to. This was certainly my experience when moving to China in 2016. It took me at least a year, maybe 2, to settle and adapt to that new environment. Fast forward 6 years to April 2022, I was on a plane heading back to the UK, having just spent over 2 years living through the global pandemic and unable to leave. I finally returned home, with my family and a new job waiting for me! It didn't take long for me to realize that something was different. Somewhere along that rollercoaster of a journey in China, I had grown up...except...I hadn't understood what growing up in that culture meant. Whether intentional or not, I became mixed, part Essex, part Chinese. The fascinating (and challenging) part is the Chinese side of me would also feel a culture shock to the UK. Weird when it was my homecoming. Here are some observations I made since coming home. I hope some of you reading this can relate.

British chassis with a Chinese engine

It is truly shocking how much your environment affects you, from what you like, to changing world views or even how you make decisions. I feel my core is still the same in many ways, but parts of me have changed, and I suspect that change is here to stay. The powerful part comes from understanding that this isn't me losing a part of my old self, it is simply me growing from my experiences. Harnessing that unique perspective and approach to tackling my life has been refreshing and empowering. I am playing the same game, but the rules feel more malleable, to go for a better life (no matter how quirky it may look to others!). I like to think that I have evolved...but that's open for debate!

Guanxi is a foundational concept in China that encouraged a big change in how I view relationships with friends and colleagues. The basic concept revolves around nurturing relationships at varying degrees, which is centred on the giving and receiving of some kind of value. Not intended as materialistic, it gives more clarity to what others offer to you, and more importantly, what you can offer others. I think this is a powerful idea, to make sure both sides have balance and work to achieve it. I had grown up with a vaguely similar concept of this in the UK, but it wasn't until I went to China and got closer to Guanxi, that I started viewing relationships differently. We only have a certain amount of time each day, and this concept helps to prioritise and spend time on those that matter to my world. Whilst I hope I have not shocked any old friends with this, living with this clarity is certainly a part of my readjustment back to UK life.

Slurping appreciatively

The Chinese are famous for being loud eaters, which is one of the only things my dad has in common with them. All jokes aside, it is just a part of life there. By the time I left, slurping a soup or even that last scoop of rice from a bowl, became normal. My food preferences changed on a much bigger scale too. Some of this may be your cup of tea, but here are three things I found out:

1. Fruit in Asia is just superior, in variety and taste - go try 'Longyan' (Dragon Eyes) and tell me I'm wrong
2. Tofu and Duck blood are amazing in hotpot - go spicy or go home!
3. Hot water does fix most things (if you have lived in China, this will resonate!)

One of the more quirky reverse culture shocks, I discovered shortly after my UK return, at my own family's dinner table. If I get caught up in the food a little too much (which is most meals!) the slurping Chinese man persona does tend to make an appearance for a moment or two. It is a part of Chinese culture that is difficult to shake off once you have done it for long enough!

Making Bargain Hunt look like child's play

Once you have bought Chinese steamed buns (aka 'Baozi') for 2.5RMB, getting charged £5 is never going to feel right. Those price differences would make anyone's eyes water, but couple that with the Chinese culture (well known for being frugal), and you have someone that will spend an unholy amount of time hunting for a lower price...for EVERYTHING. Whilst I would love to blame the cost of living crisis, the truth is I am an addict for a deal that began way before the world's current economic woes. If you know of any discounts/reduced sections, you know where to find me. This may not be something China thanks me for, but it's a change that my family have noticed with wry smiles. It begs the question, how careless with money was I before I left!?

Wishing I learnt Martial Arts

This one may sound a little weak, but it is 100% true. Living in China created a bubble; inside that bubble, you just didn't need to worry about most crimes and physical altercations. It is hands down one of the safest places on this earth...just don't wave your cash at the fake taxi drivers at airport arrivals and you're golden. I hadn't noticed until hopping onto the London underground for the first time, but suddenly I felt like danger could come from anywhere. It is not that the underground is scary and the danger is actually there, but that safe bubble has now gone, and it takes time to get familiar again. This has dissipated over time, but I still feel that sense of alertness, like the dog gets when the postman arrives...

The Techie Grandpa

The level of technology adoption in China is mind-boggling. The amount of very elderly people that were masters of tech would put any youngster to shame. Being in that kind of environment, meant I got familiar with having all of this customer-centric tech at the centre of my life. Apps like WeChat and Alipay make apps in the western world feel like the stone age. There was a learning curve and a lot of downloading for me to do to bridge the gap left by just a handful of Chinese tech. I miss that convenience and owe a big thank you to friends and family for patiently pointing out that scanning my WeChat QR code won't work in Tesco...yet.

A new me, a new future

There is much more to my experiences in China, but it is probably too much for one article. I am sure I will discover more about my journey as time passes. The fun part of this cultural topic is that it never stops and is constantly changing. I also feel that there are aspects of this in many parts of life, especially where people take time away and come back to a place or people they were once much closer to. Whether it is due to travelling, taking a break from a career, or reconnecting with old friends.

"If you live only in one culture for the first 20 years of your life, you become conditioned without knowing it."

Eckhart Tolle